OH MY!

I knew it was coming, I did. And yet it still is somehow surprising. Hannah has begun waking up a bit more at night, I think she has hit a growth spurt. And so the sleepless nights combined with the stress of my incredibly messy house and lack of daily showers and adjusting to three children has finally caused me to snap. I knew it was bound to happen, like it has shortly after each child has been born, I blew my top... Last night, at my son and husband. It wasn't pretty. It had been a good night too. The hubby had been sweet to me and everything! It's just that telling me I'm beautiful and buying me chocolate cake doesn't clean my house OR provide extra sleep ya know? And it certainly doesn't help me to get my girlish figure back. But hey, I asked for the cake.....and it was good. But that is beside the point. I don't know what happens. But I go from handling things great to all of a sudden becoming incredibly overwhelmed. I suppose it is just hormones still working their way out of my system, but it sucks. It's like PMS from the depths of hell. I seriously went from feeling so blessed last night to feeling like all was wrong in the world. I am seriously gonna document the chaos to be able to remind myself of all of this the next time the idea of having another baby pops into my head! It might just make me think twice! LOL!

However, on the sunnier side of things.....Hannah lost her umbilical stump and now has a precious little belly button. And she has started a bit of cooing and lots of smiling! LOVE it when they begin all of this. In some ways I think it makes me a bit sad because if she is my last baby (read the above, Shelly, read the above) then her growing so quickly means no more babies in the house... tear, sniffle. That umbilical stump was her last little connection to me (sort of) and it hit me funny for some reason this time. So silly to feel your heart strings pulled over a yucky, shriveled, off colored, stump. But, they were. But I know that with each little accomplishment my heart swells and how could I not want those things in my life. They are so wonderful. I mean my other kids still have little accomplishments and moments of total cuteness every, single day. And those moments are what life is all about I tell ya! Ideally I can see myself with more kids....those greeting card moments of perfect large family blissfulness. But realistically I don't know that I am cut out for it. At least in between the total chaos and raging hormones I know our family can still accomplish some blissful greeting card moments. And some how those moments make the chaos sort of fade into the background and you forget. All that remains is the bliss and the sweet memories of family life. Maybe our life is more like a Norman Rockwell painting......not all of the kids he painted were perfect. They tended to get into mischief, but man they were cute. And everyone loves a Norman Rockwell painting, mischief or not.